


Candlelight

by Shlyiva



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fireworks, Fluff and Angst, New Year's Eve, New Years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:42:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22074943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shlyiva/pseuds/Shlyiva
Summary: It's New Year's Eve.Gabriel has to figure out what it is he really wants. He misses the past, but maybe change isn't so bad.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth, Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir & Nathalie Sancoeur, Gabriel Agreste | Papillon | Hawk Moth/Nathalie Sancoeur
Comments: 9
Kudos: 78
Collections: GabeNath Book Club and Art Club Server





	Candlelight

A light breeze stirred the heavy white curtains in slow waves resembling that of the ocean. It blew brisk air into an already cold and dark hall, with it frost stuck to the sides of the fabric, some of it even littered the floor. 

On the top of a shelf, filled with cheesy family pictures, newly lit candles burned bright. Their purpose only meant to for the aesthetics of Christmas spirit. 

Standing right beside the window, Gabriel shivered against its chilled atmosphere. His eyes took one last woeful look at the stone statue of Emilie.The branches and twigs alike danced on the wind around it, obscuring the symbol that had been scattered throughout the premise in unlikely places– behind the stone, circling her head like a halo. 

The sunshine its only touch of colour. It caught the light in a smudgy shimmer, reflecting the mellow sunrise that split through the parted curtains diagonally– For a winter day, it was surprisingly warm; seeing as there was no snow covering the ground in flurry patches yet like every year before. 

It was all too reminiscent of the lifeless state his mind was in.

He leaned against the wall– a mistake, he startled forward, its surface cold against his back. In doing so he cursed under his breath as he almost toppled out of the opened window. He decided it best to close it. He thought wearing a sweater would keep him wrong, but then again, the sweater was made of thin fabric.

Everything had changed, he realised. Things were passing quickly, too quickly, while he remained mired in the traps of the scarred past. The remnants of yesteryear's only memories had began to fade into nothing short of an old tradition. What had once made mornings like these seem less bland was all forgotten by the house's residents. 

Except, he hadn't. He didn't want to forget.

Rubbing instinctively at his eyes against the harsh state of the cold air, he felt the need to finish the rest of his morning routine.

Just as he finished tying his oxfords, a cough brought him out of his stupor, it came from his right. In panic he clumsily turned to see Nathalie staring at him expectantly, replaced by concern and confusion at his outburst. He shook his head; she was alright. 

"Sir, I'm sorry to barge in, you hadn't come down." He overslept; a quick glance at the clock confirmed he in fact did. 

He noticed a clink of a necklace around her neck, that was new, he hadn't thought Nathalie to be the type to wear jewelry. There was something transcribed into the silver, but the letters were too tiny to read. 

"Thank you Nathalie for worrying," He walked past her to the door of his bedroom where she gestured towards. " but I'm quite alright."

She followed the path of his footsteps as they descended down the marble staircase to the atelier. It was only now he noticed the only decoration was the tree. It baffled him that Adrien hadn't tried sneaking a few Christmas lights around the house, maybe a mistletoe or two. He thought the lavish halls sometimes don't fit into the category of holiday cheer.

Could've just been the barren wasteland it was.

He took to stand uninterested by the centre. Not looking forward to work. A clank and closing of the door could be heard behind him as Nathalie entered the studio. 

"The schedule for today is mostly empty thanks to it being New Year's Eve." She said with her usual level-head tone that spat seriousness all over it. To his dismay, she insisted to work on holidays as well; ever the professional. He understood that feeling very well himself.

"Let's get to work, then." They both took their respective work places, her at the desk and him at the front. 

Nathalie's necklace gleamed in the light of the morning sun just so, more visible now, making itself present to him again. 

"The necklace,I couldn't help but notice, it's beautiful."

"Thank you, Adrien gave it to me as a Christmas present, I hope it's not an issue that I'm wearing it now." She fumbled with it, turning the little beads between her fingers in quick turns of her hand.

"Not at all, it looks good on you." She smiled at him, a bright smile that stirred something familiar in his chest. Maybe it's not all forgotten. 

* * *

"Father, can I go out tonight?" 

Came Adrien's quickly blurted out question– it was obvious in the way he looked down at his feet and fumbled with his ring as he said it; he was nervous. Gabriel looked at him with a questioning gaze, making the boy shift in his shoes. His futile attempts at staying confident had stared failure directly in the eyes. Though, it shouldn't have come as a surprise that Adrien would seek to spend time outside the house, especially at this time of the year, but Adrien's abrupt inquiry still floored him. 

"Alone?" 

There was a prolonged moment of silence stretching thin. Even Nathalie seemed to go quiet. The only sound was Gabriel's sigh. In protest, Adrien opened his mouth to answer.

" No, with a couple of friends." He grimaced in response, not wishing his son to mingle with the likes of them. 

"It's New Year's eve." He said, in hopes that the boy would stop with his request at mention of the holiday.

"I know, which is why I'm asking." 

"You're supposed to be here," He tried again. "I don't want you going out in the middle of the night."

"Father, please. I won't be long, just past midnight and I'll come home right away."

He pinched the bridge of his nose, 

Nathalie, who stood behind Adrien with a tablet over her chest, looked at both of them. Distracted from the long email she'd been reading, instead she focused on the conversation before her. Shoulders tensed, anticipating the reaction of the man before them. He could very well blow like a fuse if approached the wrong way. 

"Adrien," annoyance crossed his features. "we talked about this." 

Heart sinking, his gaze dropped further down, dismay present in the way a heavy sigh left his mouth. Green eyes looking through a point on the floor as he floundered his mind for words. She thought of stepping in, she couldn't watch Adrien struggle to appeal to his father any longer.

"Sorry father, I shouldn't have-"

"Adrien."

He was cut off by Nathalie's gentle hand on his shoulder, her blue eyes staring into his green ones with glowing reassurance. Her touch seemed to calm him, if only for a moment. Maintaining a straight face, she turned steadily towards Gabriel. He could see she was determined to help the boy.

"Sir, Adrien should be able to spend time with his friends, as I recall he has nothing scheduled for him." She gestured to the tablet parched in her hand over her right side.

"I still don't want him outside at night." He shot back. It was harder to ignore Adrien's request now.

"Adrien could send a text from time to time." Her reply was straight forward and he felt there was no reason to keep this conversation rolling any further.

Gabriel seemed to be lost in thought. His hand traced the tie where he felt the certain outline of the brooch hidden there, the other slowly massaged his temple in circles. He gazed at Nathalie then back at Adrien, with a fast wave of his hand he begrudgingly said "Fine, you may go."

"Oh father- Nathalie, thank you!" He threw his arms around the woman with enough force to almost topple over. The slight sway from side to side made him frown, in addition her features lacked proper response and instead scrunched up. She hesitantly put her hands on his back as he leaned in closer, she could swear she heard him mutter an 'I love you'. It spread warmth in her chest that Gabriel could swear he felt before in someone else. He stared at them with barely contained amusement which made Nathalie draw back a step from Adrien's abrupt embrace. 

Adrien jubilantly smiled at his father, arms raised slightly, contemplating whether to envelope his father as well or if it would only serve to make the other more uncomfortable. Gabriel gestured to the door; he frowned slightly, but he didn't let it deter his growing excitement. Both Gabriel and Nathalie watched as Adrien exited the atelier with a skip in his step, he was practically dancing by the time he was outside.

"I didn't think you'd let him..." she turned back to him as Adrien shut the door, a slight smile graced her lips, she looked genuinely happy. Though, faintly dark circles surrounded her eyes like a halo. 

"A certain assistant changed my mind." 

"Well, I'm happy you did nonetheless."

She moved to take her seat at the desk, taking the cold cup of coffee to her lips and grimacing at the stale taste. Gabriel watched as a stray strand of midnight black hair fell across her brow, her head leaning into her palm with an elbow perched on her desk. He noticed how her condition hadn't gotten better, even though they've not transformed for the past week.

In the corner of his eye, candles flickered as if blown by a soft rushing of air, they only served to punctuate the growing circles under her eyes. He noted the way her eyes would drop before hesitantly opening again. She was tired, she hadn't fully recovered from her prior transformation.

"Nathalie." 

Jaded eyes looked up at him from behind the mug, the sound of her confusion picked up by his miraculous.

"Yes, sir?" 

"You should retire for the day, there's nothing more scheduled for you,"

Affecting a grin, she seemed to consider it, she was tempted, indeed. 

"That would be favourable," Her eyes traced the silhouette of the doorknob. "although, I would like to stay."

"Nathalie...you look tired."

"I can take care of myself" Her response came out harsher than he expected.

"I'm worried. You have barely gotten better since your last use," He frowned when she turned her head away. "which was over a week ago."

"Don't be, it's just a pesky headache."

"Alright then, Don't you want to spend New Year's with friends? Family?" He asked curiously, he anticipated an answer with wonder in his chest.

"Friends?" He wasn't expecting a giggle to sound through the atelier, it was a short scornful laugh, yet it held genuine amazement, he realised."I don't exactly have friends nor time to make some."

"I suppose that's my fault."

"No, I've just never been able to resonate with people." Suddenly, the walls seemed to reflect brighter with diligence straining to overpower emotions that lay dormant within them. They were spilling through the cracks as his miraculous took to focus on hers and only hers. In turn, Nathalie anxiously avoided his protruding gaze, eyes stuck looking at her feet.

" _I_ consider you my friend."

For a moment, it seemed she hadn't been listening, it'd taken her time to flick her head up and widen her eyes and let her mouth form the shape of an unheard gasp. He thought the sparkle in the corner of her eyes could've been brimming tears. 

He didn't dare stare any longer.

She got up to stand in front of him, avoiding the tangible worry in his eyes– she was trying willfully to squander her emotions as to not alarm him. He stood up and– though reluctantly at first– held her shoulder; which she flinched away from, holding her breath.

"Are you alright?" A stupid question, really. He knew the answer to it.

"I-" she rubbed her eyes- which reddened the sensitive skin around. "I'm fine."

She wasn't. 

"I think I'll take you up on the offer" 

He smiled, slight relief coming to him in waves. "I'll have Adrien's bodyguard take you."

There was a slight pause in her step as she stood right by the atelier door.

"Happy New Year," this time she looked at him "sir."

When she left through the door, he watched through the hazy window as the car rolled out of the mansion's entrance with a heart full of wishes. There was no one in the house currently, he was left where only he and the memories within these drab walls existed. 

_Alone._

* * *

Midnight was slowly approaching.

Walking down the dark corridors of the upper parts of the mansion, only lit by a few lamplights mounted on the walls throughout. He saw the tree down in the main hall, dull, only decorated with grey same-sized ornaments along with yellow spiraling Christmas lights. It was something like out of a store, its only purpose was to blend in with the rest of the house's monochrome palette.

He hated it.

Gabriel approached the patio door leading to the balcony. He stood at its edge with both arms perched up on the railing with a wine bottle and glass in hand, the other stroking the byzantine surface of his brooch. Below, amongst the people, in the city, familiar cheer rang through the streets. There was celebration, Christmas carols and whatever food was being eaten at this time of year. They were getting ready to witness the fireworks that will be shot at midnight, but he will stand on his balcony with a lonely glass and a bottle of wine in his hand. 

He watched as a few fireworks– which were let off early shot in red midst the black night sky like paint splattered on a canvas with a fast flick of the wrist. Each one bled a different colour- gold, red, green– typical colours of Christmas. 

Screwing open the bottle, he tipped back his glass to pour the scarlet red wine until it swirled to the top as it barely filled the middle. Quite unfitting for the occasion, but he couldn't find it in himself to care.

In the light of the dazzling lights above ringing in his head- The fireworks blooming like flowers across the sky, families awaiting the clock to strike midnight, with a paper cup of mulled wine in hand, the snowflakes falling onto his hair- stirred a lane of memories he'd hoped to bury.

Images of bright green eyes like those in rare fields blooming in the spring time where nothing else mattered, the silky blonde– _golden_ hair felt soft beneath the smooth gentle stroke of his touch- he'd curl the pretty locks in between his fingers and she'd always welcome the soothing effect the rise and fall of his chest had against her ear. 

They'd sit on the balcony, huddled together with two glasses of champagne- and a glass of orange juice for little Adrien- in their hands whilst they watched the bleary sky tangled in each other's embrace under a white blanket.

"I could stay like this forever" 

He'd whisper with his face buried in the softness of her hair. Where his hands lay perched on her side, stroking Adrien's unruly blonde mane; he hadn't been the type to brush it very well, that's what his mother was here for. _Was._

Emilie hummed in response, he could swear she was smiling, and as he looked down; sure enough a whimsical smile graced her features. It sparked love into his heart each time, it resonated through him like energy.

He wished he could feel it again.

They'd stare for minutes– hours at the sky riddled with explosions, each one a wonder of its own. Like crackles of the same sparks of love that flowed to him as he held the woman resting her head on his shoulder. 

She'd get up to glance at a clock from inside; only five minutes left to midnight. She hugged them tighter as Adrien let out a loud yawn and almost dropped his head on her lap in a tired haze.

"Five more minutes, Adrien, then you can go to sleep." Gentle hands held his head while stroking the untame blonde head of hair.

"Why can't midnight come sooner?" He groaned louder.

They both laughed in unison at the boy's question- _Indeed, why couldn't it come sooner?_

"I wish New Year's was every day," He pouted and crossed his arms; which made both parents burst into another fit of laughter. " we wouldn't have to wait a whole year for the next one."

"But that's the point, Adrien," Emilie looked at him with kind eyes as she took the boy into her arms to set him carefully on her lap whilst Gabriel put an arm around both of them. "We celebrate the passing of a year and the oncoming of a new one." 

She touched his nose which in process earned her giggling from the blonde child nestled in her arms. 

"Alright, it's almost time, get ready."

Gabriel counted the seconds with bated breath as Adrien and Emilie huddled closer like puppies seeking warmth, wondering eyes awaiting the fireworks sure to be shot at the last second. 

Even in the light of countless fireworks, he couldn't look away from them. He watched as Emilie hugged their son closer– who was screaming joyfully amongst loud crackles above. It was an odd feeling in his chest– warm, quaint. 

He felt it only twice after that. When Emilie kissed him, exploding like the firework show above their heads; and when Adrien told him he loved him before hurriedly following after his mother. He sat alone after that night, a smile present on his face, thinking just about how lucky a man he was.

Bringing the edge of the glass to his lips, he gulped down the remaining wine at the bottom, ready to fill it to the brim this time. He'd let it burn down his throat, let it burn the melancholy. 

Still- after Emilie disappeared, after his relationship with his son deteriorated into fast conversation laced with a demanding tone or a snarky bit back reply; they were both missing something. Perhaps they were yearning for something. 

Yearning for someone.

The idea of moving on was offensive to him, yet it wasn't an entirely scraped thought. There were times where he thought of burying the past and what had transpired during those years, but the chance Hawkmoth– the miraculous possessed was undeniably hard to resist. 

Yet, over the year, he'd grown tired, things were becoming unbearable, stuck to fulfil the same stubborn loop for every day. He couldn't let it go on any longer.

And he knew that. 

But how was the question. How could he move on when each day the pictures of _her_ that littered the walls judged him for unfulfiling the promise he made to _her._ When she died, right there in his arms. 

He filled his glass to the brim again as another blast shot in array of green, like _her_ eyes.

He thought of Nathalie. He didn't know why. The alcohol brought him to this– it had a way of numbing the mind and terminating the inhibitions. He couldn't help but think of the sapphire glint of her eyes, her melodic, calm voice he felt the world lift when she spoke. He thought of how alike they were– he doesn't think he can bury his feelings further.

God, how he yearned for her.

"Sir!" He was brought wrenched back by a hand gripping the fabric of his sleeve tightly. It made his head swirl with haze. He recognised the voice; soft, but stubborn- _Nathalie._ _What is she doing here?_

“Nathalie?”

Crackles of familiar blue light lit up in his peripheral vision. He couldn't tell if it was just a firework or something else. But as he turned around, he held his breath with disbelief washing over him. Behind him, he managed to glimpse the last seconds of a detransformation as a blue kwami flew out of the miraculous positioned on her chest– Mayura. Nathalie had transformed. 

He was brought out of his stupor by a wheezing cough beside him; Nathalie steadied herself with the hand still gripping his shirt. It rapidly turned into a full choked coughing fit, she tried to stifle it with her other hand but vertigo settled in. He moved to catch her, forgetting he'd held a wine glass- so he let the delicate glass chalice shatter on the glistening marble surface. Holding the arm still clutching onto him, he saw her knees buckle, quickly taking hold of her waist he held her against him. 

"What are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd-" her sentence was abruptly cut of by another painful bouts of coughing. His arms gripped her tighter. "You called me"

"What are you talking about?" That was peculiar, he was sure he hadn't called anyone, especially Nathalie. 

She didn't answer at first, her eyes held what could only be described as dread; which he very well tasted like sour milk– that spent too much time outside of a refrigerator– on his tongue. Though fury fed through him like acid, his heart gave way to concern.

"I felt you needed me." Gabriel didn't deign a reply; understanding what she meant by that, he cursed himself for letting emotions get the better of him. 

"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry I made you worry." She tried to stand, but dizziness was pervasive, he felt her frustration build up, tangible as it pounded through his brooch. 

"It's not your fault, I should've known better." A cool hand reached up to touch his warm cheek, only for it to fall onto his shoulder, he caught it before it could fall back by her side, gingerly taking hold of it and pressing it into his neck. Her eyes fluttered closed, she hadn't passed out, though he felt she will. Hacking coughs wracked her body again, this time she didn't try to stifle it, too weak to, he guessed.

Reaching down to position his arms behind her knees, with the other delicately cradling her back and shoulder, he deliberately scooped her up into his arms so her head fell against his collar. Walking the path of scarlet wine drops that had fallen from the shattered wine glass, he set her down to sit on the bench. 

The peacock brooch sputtered like electricity- he got the sudden urge to grab hold of it, so he could smash it into pieces like the shards of glass in the light of coloured explosions. 

"You used Mayura,"he stated earnestly " I told you not to transform unless absolutely necessary." 

"I'm fine, just a little dizzy." 

He took a seat next to her with a blanket in hand that had been swung over the armrest. With it, he covered them both; he made sure it fit over Nathalie just so. Feeling the chill of the winter seep into his bones, he nestled in closer. Nathalie gave a shudder as chills trembled her body;it lit worry spitting to suffocate his lungs. Hoping to ease her, he supported her weight with his free hand– the one not responsible for keeping the blanket in place.

"You're not fine, I can see." Her feet swayed by the edge of the wood, he felt her holding her breath. "It's not your fault." 

Exhale came to her in threatening coughs as she struggled for words. "It was so strong, the feelings. It was overwhelming" She breathed into him, her voice on the verge of breaking. "I don't know why, I just felt _you."_ Her hand found the crackling miraculous. He felt guilt get the better of him, in turn he brought her closer to him. 

For what felt like eternity, they sat there amidst the cool night air, enjoying the view. Wispy grey clouds shadowed the moon, already thinly obscured by a layer of smoke. The joy of the city, as well as the obnoxious lights that made it buzz with life, reminded them of what day it was– they almost forgot.

Nathalie disengaged from her place at his side, deciding to sit by herself instead. Although when he looked up, he wasn't expecting tear, like fine crystals running down her rosy-tinted cheeks. A hand met them, stopping them, in their trail down towards her chin. He swiftly wiped them away. To her surprise or maybe his own. 

Maybe both; he enveloped her into his arms, bringing her close until their chests touched and their heads lay at the crook of the other's neck.

She let every tear, that had been held back, fall.

Inside, in a corner on a windowsill, he saw candlelight illuminate a photograph of Emilie, its flame was flickering with uncertainty, wildly. Whether it be wind or lack of fuel, the dying flame waved its last goodbye; serving to give way to new light.

Just then, cheers of a happy New Year sounded around them as thousands of colours burst onto the sky. Children screaming and laughing, dozens of happy New Year wishes echoed in th wind. 

It took only one for them to look upon each other and only two for an enamored; tender kiss and only three for them to fall back again.


End file.
